Jun 302017
 

Difficulty understanding new technologies at work. Lack of focus while driving. Forgetting to pay bills.

Flash back roughly 10 years, when Joey Daley began to notice irregularities in his mother’s behavior. She ended up having to quit her job, and things only went downhill from there.

She was in and out of doctors’ offices; some doctors would say her behavior was the effects of medication, but others would say it was depression. Dementia was never even brought up as a possibility until three years ago, when she was finally diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies.

After her diagnosis, the pursuit was on. The pursuit to raise awareness about dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. The pursuit to corral government funding. The pursuit for a son, the 45-year-old caregiver, to ensure his mom, the 67-year-old woman living with dementia, continued to experience some of life’s favorite offerings so often taken for granted. Things like grabbing a chocolate milkshake, taking a trip to the racetrack  or enjoying a home-cooked meal in the company of family.

For the past five months, Joey Daley has been documenting his and his mother’s journey with dementia in a twice-weekly video series and started a movement – “Molly’s Movement.”

To date, Joey has posted 47 video episodes, but Episode #6 – the first day Molly ever failed to recognize her only son, followed by Joey’s heart-wrenching, on-camera breakdown – caught the world’s attention. That episode alone has been viewed over 2.2 million times. Collectively, the series of videos has been watched over 80 million times, having gone viral in more than a dozen countries. Recently, Joey  chronicled his and Molly’s painstaking journey with us.

What an inspiring yet monumental undertaking. Do you have a team that helps you do all the behind-the-scenes work?

No, I don’t. To be honest, things are starting to get exhausting. Here I am with a video series that documents my mother’s slow descent into dementia. At the same time, I’ve created a support group that I feel very responsible for.

I created this movement, have a business, a family, everyday life. My mindset has always been: When you do things, go full-force. I’ve always thought I was unstoppable. I’m not going to quit, but it can be difficult. My ultimate goal is to help secure a steady flow of government funding for research, because that’s what I think it’s going to take, and that’s what’s going to keep me going.

Talk about your journey together, mother and son.

Some people think I just started picking her up and hanging out, but what I’m doing now (publicly with the video series) is exactly what we were doing before I started the movement. I’d pick her up to go out to eat, watch horse races, bring her to visit my house – some kind of activity that she enjoys. Then one day I asked her, “Would you want to do a video series and help other people understand more about dementia?” And her exact words were, “Well, yeah, if it’s going to help people!”

When she said that, I said, “Let’s do it.” I grabbed my GoPro camera and just started recording our time together.

You’ve posted 47 videos to date. How often do you try to produce a new one?

I release a new video every Thursday and Saturday. I don’t know if I’ll ever slow down from that schedule; it really depends on my mom’s condition. I’m not an expert on dementia and I never tell people that I am, so maybe they can learn what not to do with the video series; that was the whole goal – to create awareness in a different way and be honest and open about how dementia impacts both those who live with it and their caregivers.

What triggered you to launch “Molly’s Movement?”

The group (of video-series followers) moved me towards it. I had had people reach out to me wanting to get involved in the production, but I didn’t want the project to move away from what I had envisioned. I wanted my mother to have her own movement and for us to do things to give back the way I thought my mom would – and that’s giving back to caregivers. It just kind of evolved into everything it is today.

What was your reaction to the enormous response the videos generated?

After it went viral, I knew it would mean I would be on the phone non-stop talking to reporters and radio stations and anyone else interested in the story. It’s bittersweet. I’m excited that my mother is not going to die in vain, yet she’s still dying. It’s hard to get excited.

Why did you make it your personal mission to advocate for the cause vs. throwing your support behind another movement like so many have with yours?

I wanted to do what I felt was best for my mother and how she would have done things if she was in my position. She’s always given back in different, unique ways. It is unbelievable to me how she talks about her friends; even in her current situation grappling with this disease, she is still always thinking about the well-being of others. She even worries about what will happen to me when she dies. That is just the person she is – and I want to honor that.

 

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  98 Responses to “Molly’s Movement: A Mother and Son Document Their Journey with Dementia”

  1. I myself am having issues with my short term memory. I had to make my pa test me for memory loss and dementia issues. I had another MD to state and give medication for this issue (23mg Aricept). The pa that I saw stated that it was too early for that medication and the MD would not have prescribed the listed medication. When I took out a bottle with my name on it from the last MD, she was surprised. I asked about the Exelon patch and she wanted to know how I had found out about the medication. Laughed at her and stated that I would not come back to her office again. Would find a MD that would listen to me. As with many others sure that you are having the same issues.

  2. Thank you for your video. I'm in the same exact same boat! You are not alone. Your video was so very familiar. – My mom often thinks I'm her friend or her cousin. She asks who my father is and often thinks my father is her father. My heart goes out to you and everyone dealing with dementia. It's a tough day when they don't know who we are. Your mother seems like a very sweet woman. Deep down she knows who you are. You can see that in her sweet goodbye to you.

  3. I kept a daily diary. It started out as a
    way to communicate between care givers
    Now that she has passed I want to make a book
    Of the trials and issues. we kept her in her home
    no nursing home or assisted living

  4. Sad. lost my mom from Alzheimer’s last year.I volunteer for Andover Walk.It is my way to help out.God bless you.

  5. I too am familiar to my mother but she doesn't seem to know who I am. Very hard to take. I feel such empathy with Joey. And am so proud of him for documenting this to help others in the future.

  6. I just watched the video and I really feel for you. It has been five years since my mother passed with Alzheimer's Disease and I miss her every day and multiple times a day. She is with me but I can't see her, feel her arms around me or hear her sweet voice, she was always praying for me and just knew what I needed. The Disease was cruel and took her memory away little by little in about 4-5 years. She knew me but not my name and called me Hon or sweetie. She would hug me and tell me she loved me. I could see so much of her in Molly, my mom's name was Shirley. Dad misses her so much as they were childhood sweethearts and best friends. I am praying for both of you and my heart is with you as you go through this journey.

  7. Wow this was an emotional experience. I wasn't there for this part of my mom's decline. And my mom didn't talk she just stared(s). And I don't like she must be so confused. Thank you for your courage to share.

  8. I’m sorry Joey. I lost my mother almost 2 years ago to dementia/alzheimers. It was about a 7 year progression from when we realized she was having issues, I knew that one day she wouldn’t remember who I was and it was one of the roughest days of my life when she didn’t know who I was or who my father was, but I always felt that there was a familiarity that she felt to me and that gave me a lot of comfort. After a bit I got a little more used to her not knowing who I was and was able to enjoy her for the person she is and not be upset about what she didn’t remember. I just always kept in mind that it wasn’t her fault she didn’t know who I was and I tried to not ask her “do you remember” because I felt it made her a bit upset that she couldn’t remember. She could make up some good stories about life events (that never happened) but I would listen to them and ask questions about her stories to hopefully make her feel more assured that she did remember. I don’t know if that was the right thing to do but I felt she wasn’t as frustrated that way. You’re a very good son and I’m sure inside she knows that and feels that. Take care

  9. My heart goes out to you. I lost my mom to dementia with levy bodies 2 years ago. During the last few months of her life, my husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's at the age of 64. It's heart wrenching to watch the people you love slowly slip away and not being able to do anything to stop it. God bless you.

  10. She may not understand her relationship with you any more or the name for your connection, but she still know she loves you very much and that’s wonderful. You have such a sweet relationship and I am sure many wonderful memories.

  11. I just watched your video with your mom. It made me cry because my husband has Alzheimers. He is not to that point quite yet but I know its coming. I'm sorry you are having to go through that situation. It is upsetting because we don't always know how to handle things. Bless you and your mother. You will make it through.

  12. It’s heartbreaking when your parent no longer knows who you are. My father had Alzheimer’s and one day he just no longer knew who I was. I cried so hard driving home. I decided instead of quizzing him about who I am, when I saw him I would greet him with a very cheery “Hi Dad, it’s Elizabeth”. He would answer with a “I know who you are!” when he no longer did. One thing he did know is I was a familiar face he saw daily and was was always happy to see me as I was to see him. You just have to remember they are confused and they can’t help it. A neurologist I took him to told me “he’ll have good days and bad days, and he will only get worse.” He knew I was always there for him and he appreciated it. He told me that daily and when he could no longer speak, I saw it in his eyes. I never stopped talking to him even though he couldn’t respond.

  13. Wow, Joey, man, you are so amazing with her, my heart is broken for you. I hope if I’m faced with the same horror I can handle it as well as you. My grandma died from this horrific disease and at the end she didn’t know me, I wasn’t man enough then to see her again until she passed a few weeks later. My mom is 74 and forgetting more and more, just basics, no signs of the disease and I pray with everything I have that it never shows up in her. I get upset and short with her now when she doesn’t remember things and I leave her mad at myself because I can’t calm my fears long enough to not get frustrated. She and I couldn’t be closer and you are my hero for being such a great son. God bless both of you!!

  14. My mom is suffering from dementia too. You are so good with your mom and as I watched your video I cried for you, cried for me knowing what is eventually to come with mom, but you need to applauded for how gracious you deal with your mom. You were so calm with her, telling her different things didn’t really matter, I just wish I could be as calm with my mom.

    Hang in there you are really handling her illness with her so well. You will be in my prayers. Carol

  15. My mother Louise struggled with dementia with Lewy bodies for 7 years and finally lost her battle in February. I just watched your video and remembered the day she forgot who I was and would ask who my dad was and if treated me nice (we had lost my dad 3 years ago and she didn’t remember). It was so sad and I felt your grief. The disease not only robs them of their memory but it robs their family of them. Your mom is sweet and you can tell she loves you as the other people saw as well. I will pray for you all.

  16. Dearest Joey. That was heartbreaking. What was so touching was that even though your mom didn't know who you were, her love for you remains. You can tell that the feelings of love for you are still in your mom even if the memories are fading.

  17. I lost my husband from Lewy Body dementia and Alzheimer’s After watching your video with your mom I think she knows you are her son, but is unable to verbally articulate it. She is however responding to your tears and sadness as a loving caring mom and all her actions towards you reflect a deep bond. I hope you can find comfort in this. I know this is a very difficult journey.

  18. My sister had it for about six years! She had Dementia with Lewy Bodies. It took them forever to diagnose her. She couldn’t take the meds someone would normally take for Alzheimer’s. They would make her violent. It took four nursing facilities to realize it. She was like a bad child that no one wanted. Finally, someone realized what was going on and stopped those meds. It has got to be the worse disease there is because you watch your loved on die by inches. This type of Dementia tends to be very aggressive and takes a loved one quicker. I am praying for a cure. More and more people are coming down with it.

  19. My mom made the long journey with the BIG A she went from a strong vibrant woman to being fed bathed and changed almost non verbal in a wheel chair…..such a horrible journey.

  20. These videos are helping vast numbers of people. Watching Molly and Joeys journey help us not feel so alone. Joey is selfless and gives his Mother the time and ability to live her on her terms. His kindness and understand enable us all to up our game and push ourselves to be better with our loved one.

  21. That was gut-wrenching to watch and Joe, I hope you continue with your videos regardless of your mom's awareness because everyone needs to be aware of this awful disease. I am 76 and have 5 children and 14 grandchildren and I don't know what I'll do if I get to the point of not recognizing any one of them. Rarely, does a senior escape this horrible disease and you seem like a wonderful son to want to do this for her and other people who has this problem. My prayers are with you..

    • Tina, sorry to have hijacked your comment but for some reason it wouldn't let me post using FB as my identifier. I just wanted to leave a comment for Joe. I have 5 kids and would not be able to stand it if I forgot who they were. Sorry again. Hopefully I can figure out how to get my comment submitted.

      That was gut-wrenching to watch and Joe, I hope you continue with your videos regardless of your mom's awareness because everyone needs to be aware of this awful disease. I am 76 and have 5 children and 14 grandchildren and I don't know what I'll do if I get to the point of not recognizing any one of them. Rarely, does a senior escape this horrible disease and you seem like a wonderful son to want to do this for her and other people who has this problem. My prayers are with you..

  22. I’ve been following Molly’s movement for a long time now!! I praise Joey Daley for everything he has given all of his followers. He has opened the eyes of many people whom have been concerned of their loved ones and wasn’t sure what was wrong with them. Now alot of us have taken our loved ones to the Dr. And gotten the answers we didn’t want to here but we are thankful we did. Plus there are some of us that have been through this and have lost our loved ones and just want to help support all of those in need etc. I just want to say thank you Joey for your bravery and doing these episodes to show how it can go from one extreme to the next. My prayers to you and your family continue through the rest of your journey!! And don’t feel obligated to continue videoing as your mother gets worse. It’s hard enough emotional on you and sister let alone having the whole world asking you questions etc. Good luck and I will continue to follow the Molly’s movement so let’s keep moving forward as you say!!

  23. It is the worst day of your life, up to a point. My Mom dies on 11/25/16 odd Alzheimer's dementia. Even though it had been two years since she knew me, I could still see and touch her. I will miss her until the day I die.

  24. I commend you for taking these videos. Anyone who has been a caregiver or lost someone to the disease understands what the disease does to the person and to the family. More awareness about dementias must be brought to the attention of our society and our government to find a cure. Along with research, more help must be provided to families caring for a loved one with the disease. I, along with my mother cared for my father. It is a disease that can bankrupt families. I don’t regret the sacrifices I made to make his life as comfortable and as enjoyable as possible. He would have done the same for me.

    As difficult as each day may become,just remember that you are doing as much as you can for her, bringing her joy. You are an awesome son to give so much of yourself to her. So many are abandoned by their children. You are surely an angel on earth.

    This video is heartbreaking to watch as it brought back so many memories of my experiences with my dad. It also reminded me of the good times we were able to share. You were so strong in the video and were able to maintain your composure when I couldn’t while watching it. I remember sitting with my dad and he was fascinated with my iPad. I let him play with it. While I was watching him, I became overcome with emotion and started to cry. He noticed and asked why I was crying. I told him I was so sad that he was sick. He replied, don’t worry, I’ll be all right, I am going to beat this. That made me cry even more, because I could see he was losing the battle.

  25. This disease is very difficult for the family. I've gotten to the point with my Mom that I have a sense of humor, otherwise, it would be very difficult! She doesn't know who I am – she calls me her friend. I don't ask her many questions anymore because it leads to her having more anxiety!

  26. I lost my Mom many years ago, she was diagnosed when I was a young teen. You brought all the feelings back in your video.
    You are strong and courageous and so caring to share this with the world. I know it will help others. I had no one at the time and it is a lonely sad journey of anticipatory grief. Thank you for making this blog. Best to you and your mother and your beautiful loving relationship!!

  27. I sympathize 100%. I took care of my mother who too had Alzheimer’s for six years from 2006 laying her to rest in 2011. It was a tall order and we made it. I ended my book: Street Soldier From The Hood To The Good talking about my experience of taking excellent care of my loving Mother.

  28. Thank you for sharing your journey with your Mom’s dementia. You are a wonderful son to be taking such good care of her. I, too, took care of my Mom when she had Alzheimer’s the last 3 years of her life. It was very tiring and very rewarding. One thing I did differently from you: I never asked her who I was or what she remembered. I always told her I was her oldest daughter, Nancy, and would entertain her by telling her stories about our family, her children, her siblings, her husbands. It never bothered me if she knew me or not, I was only concerned about her comfort and enjoyment. HOpe that helps.

  29. Dear Joey, After watching this video, my conclusion is that you are a wonderful son for your Mum. I also cared for my Mum with Alzheimers. I remember the day when she asked me who my mother was. After that day we still did have many happy days together. At least she knew that I loved her and cared about her, just like your Mum knows that too. She knew she had children but she couldn't remember who they were. We are all meant for a better place. This life is just the journey.

  30. This was the most emotional video I've seen about Alzheimer's disease. It was as if I went back in time to when I experienced this exact same "episode" in my life. My Dad had just died from an car accident and my Mom didn't remember who he was or what had happened. They were still living in their house and my Dad had been seeing that she wasn't acting normal but he didn't know what to do about it. It was in 1981 and not much had been said about a disease that took a person's memory away. My brother and I both lived far away from where they lived so we weren't seeing or hearing what he was dealing with. I am praying that I don't end up with this disease as I know it is passed on. I always contribute to the Alzheimer's Association and will continue to. My thoughts are with Joey and his family.

  31. Joey,

    Know that even when your mom does not remember who you are . . . she feels connected to you. She loves you and wants you to be happy. It is so hard but, we can not let Alzheimer’s Disease rob our loved ones or us of the joy of being together . . . being present in the moments we have together. Although, your mom did not recognize you, she was attuned to your emotions and connecting to you through touch. Thank you for documenting your time with Molly.

  32. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at age 72. I could overlay Joey & Molly’s dialog almost word for word with many of my mom’s (Bettye) and my past conversations!! I AM FAMILIAR WITH ALZHEIMERS and the manner in which it effects ones ability to process thoughts and express them. This disease is an insidious thief. The lack of government mandated research & funding in leu of the staggering predictions of

    future afflicted citizens is mind boggling (no pun intended!)

    My mom is now almost 90 yrs old. She’s been slowly slipping away for 17 yrs. My mom and BFF all of my life has not recognized me for 5 yrs…and not even been able to speak at all or even look at me for past 3 yrs. I don’t want to minimize Joey’s pain…but rather encourage him to RELISH this time…while your mother can still stroke your arm and say I love you!! I believe that their memories are on a segmented wheel…that only passes by reality for first minutes then seconds at a time. In the time it takes to say “who am I?”…those seconds have passed…but Joey your mom CLEARLY displayed seconds of SEEING HER SON JOEY…she just couldn’t get the words out fast enough. Her concern & motherly love was seen so clearly in this video!! It truly is like learning a new language…and because your heart so desires it…you WILL LEARN IT QUICKLY…please don’t miss your mothers message through her broken words from her breaking mind. I LONG for my mom to ask me “do you like this new dad?”….(her husband of 59 yrs!). Sending prayers for your efforts to change dramatically the commitment to finding a cure for Alzheimer’s.

  33. We haven't gotten to the memory care stage but have been informed by the doctor at the Banner Alz Institute here in Phx that Mama Jan is in the late part of the Moderate stage of Alz. There are some days when I think she doesn't immediately know who I am… She has been my "Stepmom" for the last 24yrs, the woman who made Me who I am. I wanted to be like her… She was so wise, so intuitive, so sharp, SO smart & FUN, and classy and "put together". Now, she is so Not herself… so angry, and negative, and bitter and nasty… her thinking is totally mixed up, turned around, distorted… So wrong. One of the hardest things is to see her treat Daddy so SO ugly & badly. They were the loves of each others lives and had such a great connection & relationship. I have thought about the day, Day #6 that we watched Joey go through… tore my heart out… and that day is coming, and we never know when. I read Joey's story and other's on diff sites and I know I'm not alone but, at the same time, it still feels that way… If I hear "It's not her, it's the disease" I think I might pop someone – I KNOW THAT, that doesn't make it any easier. I'll stop ~ God's blessing to all of those suffering and those caregiving. <3

  34. So incredibly hard, just last September I lost my father to Alzheimer's after a 2 year time period where he only recognized me as familiar. I spent countless evenings walking with him experiencing his decline and it was like watching him leave in tiny little pieces. Fortunately there were small moments when I think he knew me as his daughter deep down in his core being. Now my mom is going down that same path with age related dementia. I try to put my energy into being greatful for the time I had with them instead of what we have lost – but I'm not always successful. My heart goes out to you! Stay strong and take care of yourself too. it's what she and your father would have wanted for you if they were whole.

  35. I can't thank you enough for sharing your experience. My heart aches for you, for your mother, and for the future we may be facing with my Mother's dementia. Thank you for your courage to share.

  36. I’m so sorry, Joey. Alzheimer’s is such a wicked thief and of wonderful things. God bless you, and your sweet, Mama.

  37. I feel for you, Joey. You are a very brave man. Yes, it is very difficult as I am dealing with the same situation with my mother. Prayers…~TR.

  38. Heartfelt and heart-breaking. I want to give Joey a hug. What a wonderful loving son.
    I am touched beyond words watching this. It reminds me once again to be grateful for each moment and be present in the moment. I haven't seen any of these videos besides this one. I would like to know if Joey is still documenting his mother's journey, with him. Gena

  39. My journey is exactly the same as yours Joey, only it is my wife, aged 65. I know how you feel. She is in an aged care home and her condition is advanced. She is now very hard to understand and has become quite frail, She doesn’t know my name or who I am and just thinks, I suspect, that I am just another carer, it breaks my heart every time I see her. Like you I have and still do shed a lot of tears because I know I am going to soon lose the love of my life. We have been married for 41 years. I visit her every day and pray for her. Thank you for your videos, they are exactly what it is like for me. I too have taken videos at different stages of the disease so I have my record as well. God bless you mate.

  40. Your mom may not be able to identify you but her love and care for you when you were sad shines through. My mom has been gone for 8 years. She had Picks dementia. It is a difficult journey you are on Thank you for sharing your pain. I remember when my mom didn’t know my relationship to her. She thought I was her mom. I told her I probably was. I never asked her again. She always smiled when I came to visit and it was enough. I was blessed to be on this journey with her.

  41. Dear god, what a shock! You're telling the story of me and,my husband over the past few years. I'm 68 years old, diagnosed with MS in Jun 2000, but doing okay. My 89-year old husband has been at a nursing home since last Oct, under hospice care for four months now. You've shown the sadness and the horror perfectly. Thanks for sharing.

  42. I see similarities with my motther's behavior. It got worse and and could not take her out it was too dificult. I always used positive statements. I used the '"yes and" technique from improve when speaking with my mother, I learned that was easier and help her to not feel bad because she forgot things. Redirection worked, usually. I also see that your mother smiles and my mother's face changed over the days weeks and months. I see a similar look on your mother's face. It is a nive thing to bring this to the public's attenetion as I and my mother were isolated. Her friends stopped coming around and it was just me. I know the feelings you are going through. I am writing a book about my mother's journey through her Alzheimer's disease.

    • I also stopped saying remember…..it was hard but helpful for my mother not to feel bad that she did not remember.

  43. My heart breaks for you and your family. I'm in the same situation as you but not quite advance, my mom lives a mile from me so I can check on her daily but each day gets harder. She knows who I am, but is not quite as nice as your mom. It's obvious that your mom may not know where you fit into the equation of her life, but she KNOWS she loves you and that is so real and apparent. God is good, He will use everything you the good of those who love Him….Thank you for being bold and sharing your story. I think you are doing a great job with your mom. So many people would just leave her in the place she is and rationalize that she's safe but she may not remember your visits to her so why bother; but you are doing an honorable thing for your mom. Stay the corse. I will pray for you and your family.

  44. Your mom is so sweet and you are the BEST SON ever. My heart breaks for you as I think this disease is harder on you than her. I pray I can be as kind and loving as you are as I approach this with my husband.

  45. No more questions. Meet her where she is. You are a bridge to this world. She will not remember but get frustrated. My Mom and I took the journey together. This brings back precious Memories. Thank you for sharing.

  46. This reminds me so much of the time I spent with my dad before Alz. totally took him over. He passed a year and a half ago. We spent many hours in the car and going places to eat and spend time together. I miss him every day and try to remember all the wonderful time I spent with him. God's blessing to you as you make this difficult journey. May the best memories bring a smile to you. I know the heartache so very well.

  47. My father in law forgot who my husband was on a visit. My husband was hurt, but when he left the room he heard his dad say to his mom, "what a nice young man that is". It helped for my husband to at least know that his dad liked him and thought well of him…It helped a little. This is a very hard journey you are on. Bless you.

  48. I wish I had told my mother more stories of what she meant to me; of what she gave me. I wish I had spent more time with her and done more for her. When I was tired and frustrated I wish I had realized how much I would miss her and how much she needed me . you regret a lot of things but not one minute of time you spend with your loved one. SO much more I could have done, looking back.

  49. My mom went to be with he Lord on May 8th 2017 after many years of living with Dementia with Lewy Bodies. It's very good to share your journey but the endless questions are very frustrating and tiring to the brain. This is such a horrible disease and one thing we found out they never forget being with loved ones even though they cannot remember names. Being loved and being present is what is needed. Thanks for sharing.

  50. My husband had this at 56 and passed at 61. I can't think of a more horrible disease!

  51. Joey your video was a trip down memory lane for me…my Mom had Alzheimer's and lived for 15 years. While she lived with me (3 yrs ) I read everything I could get my hands on and even attended caregiver support groups. Understanding the journey is the most helpful thing you can do for yourself. We had many conversations where we laughed at the ridiculous things she said and those are the moments you will look back on… please understand that although you know the progression she doesn't! This is what I tell my son as I know he thinks this of me every time I do or say inappropriate things… until a cure is found ride out the journey with her… that's all a mother can hope for!

  52. No more questions. Meet her where she is. You are a bridge to this world. She will not remember but get frustrated. My Mom and I took the journey together. This brings back precious Memories to me. Thank you for sharing. You are helping many. May God give you the strength. You are an Awesome Son.

  53. Ah my dear….she knows she loves you, she knows you are special to her. She told you she loved her. She doesn't know your name, but she knows in her heart that you are special. She knew you were sad…she could see that. Only a mother would know that…..Peace be with you

  54. My heart goes out to you. My husband is caregiver to his mother and her memory is declining. It is definitely difficult. God bless you for the wonderful son you are.

  55. A mother knows her sons sadness…she worries and cares for him. She may not know your name but she loves you….

  56. your mom is amazing her poor brain may be all plaqued up she will be living maybe more in the past. like someone else said. meet her where she is

  57. She may not be able to tell you in words that she's your mom, but it's so obvious she loves you tremendously. Hold on to that and don't think about the rest.

  58. Joey, my heart breaks for you! I have only watched a couple of episodes, not in any particular order but this one hits home for me. I have yet to reach this day, but I did just have my Dad say he's never tried my Belgian waffles, and doesn't like waffles in particular. I've made him waffles at least once a month, for decades, and it was just gone from him memory. I took a picture of him after my very poorly handled reaction, and I haven't really been able to stop crying since then. Joey, watching your Mother cry in frustrated despair is killing me inside. Go and hold her! You don't have to talk, or try to make sense of it, just please, please…… hold her hand. Let her know, physically, that you are there for her. I will watch an episode a day, until I have caught up but until then, I am sending you, and Molly, strength, love and blessings.

  59. You rock, Joey! I've been exactly where you are. Enjoy her while you can:)

  60. NO MATTER WHO SHE THOUGHT YOU WAS SHE LOVED YOU AND THAT SHOWED SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU BEING SAD THAT IS A MOTHER LOVE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT! MY HUSBAND HAS FORGOT WHO i AM TWICE AND IT HURTS BUT IT IS NOT BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HE FEELS BAD WHEN IT HAPPENS JUST TALK ABOUT THE OLD GOOD TIMES WITH HER MAKE HER AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN THAT IS MY GOAL FOR TAKING CARE OF MY HUSBAND. GOD BLESS ALL OF US.

  61. Heartbreaking reality so many face. I truly dread when the day comes my mom doesn't know me or my 2 brothers, or her grandchildren. She sometimes gets the relationships mixed up, says she has 5 kids, asked my son if he ever met her other grandson. I do my best not to question mom when she gets mixed up, might redirect her. She still is in such denial, even after evaluations, diagnosis, and her inability to do even the simplest tasks, answering her phone, making a call, using TV and DVD remotes, making a sandwich. Mom lives with my husband and I don't know how long this will last. The most heartbreaking experience of all our lives. My brother wonders how I get through each day or hard moment. I definitely lose it sometimes, especially viewing video of others' stories, or when mom gets very angry with me when I tell her we can't go visit someone who is over 100 miles away and that they are not "just around the corner." That day really stunk.

  62. I am sorry crying with ya, my mom sometimes ask where I am she sometimes think I am someone else. Brother won't help , so I take care of her. This disease is horriable . I know my brother sometimes questions her it seems to make my mom worse. I try to feed my mom salmon , nuts and fresh veggies.
    Tomorrow is another day and it can always be a surprise. I moved in with my mom. I have no social life it is all around her. Luckly we have animals and I try to do things often to keep her mind better. I see shes declining. No sun equals bad days sunny days are best for my mom. Hope next time is better and if not just except the time she is here with you and doing things together. Peace and hugs.

  63. You are the greatest son , watching all your videos. Both my parents had the disease . Thanks for posting this.

    Tami S

  64. HI Joey:
    It is a very sad situation trying to help an Alzheimer's patient.

    Seems to me that you are developing a very good idea recording these videos; many caregivers are recording similar videos to show what they are doing to help their relatives, neighbors or friends.

    I beg your pardon if I´m going to make a constructive criticism:

    “As you know, all of us are living in a hurry, so, maybe, many people do not see complete the video”.

    Other consideration is that for many people, like me, English is second language, so, it´s not so easy to understand.

    I wish the best for you and your mom and pray to the Lord to give you both the opportunity to spend a long time together.

    Hugs, Horacio Idarraga Gil.

    Venezuela.

  65. Thank you for sharing your journey. I know this is difficult, but you seem to be so calm and loving and that is exactly what she needs. You are a good son! I wish my brother was more like you with our dad. Instead, brother has completely disowned us because of dementia/alzheimers. Thank you again!

  66. God Bless you & your beautiful mother. Although she couldn’t identify you as her son, this mother’s love is able to shine through anything & capture our hearts. She LOVES you & it is so apparant. Her level of empathy is amazing & even though she is affected by Alzheimer’s, she is still your momma. What a beautiful story you are sharing here…thank you. My precious mom has Alzheimer’s. We are not quite at the same stage as you, but we know what is ahead. It is dreadful. It is horrible watching this unfold as they slowly slip away. Keep the faith, Joey! God Bless YOU!

  67. You are an amazing son! Thank you for sharing. My Dad passed away in 2006 with Lewy Body disease and my Mom (94 years old) now has Alzheimer's disease. As the primary caretaker, it's sometimes painful to watch, but I cherish each day. In 2015 I completed a family documentary of my Mom's and Dad's lives. Today, I wouldn't be able to complete the video because of her memory loss. Your vibrant love is evident in your videos. Again, thank you.

  68. God bless you. What a patient, loving son! I lost my mom a few years ago, (it seems like just yesterday). I didn't know she had dementia at first, and I thought she was just being difficult. When the doctor told me why she was acting different, I had a much clearer picture of what was going on. I wish I had made a video, but never thought of it, but I have the memories inside. Thank you so much for sharing this special journey.

  69. My heart breaks for you. I lost my mother who had Alzheimer's in March. Your mother reminded me so much of my mother it hurt to watch. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  70. you are wonderful with your mom…haircuts, pictures, she has fun with you!

  71. What a wonderful son. You have a beautiful Mom. So glad you are doing this. Your Mom is trying to grasp it all. She's doing a pretty good job. Your Mom must have been the best Mom to have a son as you~

  72. Very poignant video. I'm struck by the similarities of her behavior to my father, especially her struggles to figure things out. Inspired by two things – first – you Joey! your kindness and caring. I hope that I can be as patient, thoughtful, and supportive to my Dad. Second, it is so touching how in spite of her not being able to put pieces together and articulate her connection to you, she responds to you as your mother. She is so sensitive to your feelings, and so comfortable with you. Family transcends logic and even memory. That doesn't make these moments easier now, but I hope it will in the end. A good reminder to those of us experiencing versions of this same horrible disease. Really appreciate your sharing Joey. You are a good man, doing the most noble deed.

  73. Joey I would love to buy a shirt but I am a little heavy and need a size 3xl or 4xl p,ease make some bigger sizes for us bigger people thank you and keep up with the videos love seeing Molly and You ..

  74. Thanks for sharing your experience. Your mom is a very sweet and caring person who clearly cares about you a great deal and loves you very much.

    She has a lovely room that you picked her up from and dropped her off to. What kind of facility is she living in? She has her own room. It’s nicely furnished. She has a large flat screen TV and lovely family photos. Is this an Assisted Living facility with Memory care or some kind of nursing home with memory care?

    I’m interested in how you got her there- financially and willingly.

    My mom is progressing w early stage dementia but denies she has any kind of problem, refuses care, refuses to leave her home or be closer to me in my city. I’d love to have my mom eventually situated in a nice place like your mom. How did you accomplish this?

    I am going to have to sell her home to pay for her care. She’s lived there for 50yrs and never threw anything out. Help!

  75. Wow Joe, Video #6 is so powerful and fully shows how terrible dementia really is. You are a wonderful son and human being. The fact that you're willing to share your most painful moment so that others can learn from it speaks volumes about you. I am a 64 year old wife, Mom and Grandma with early onset ALZ. The fact that the memories that I hold most dear will not be available to me in the future was heartbreaking when seen in your video. I did, however learn from it. While it was trauma riddled for you, to learn that your Mom didn't know who you were anymore(and quite understandably so), Your precious Mom doesn't know of her pain and she still loves you dearly(whoever she thinks you are). I face awful guilt at this point knowing I will put my family through such gut wrenching hardships. Such is life. I also think that early dementia/ALZ suffers should not get all balled up in what their future might hold, life is still flexible, there could be a new wonder drug or a cure or one could meet their demise in some other way first. Thank you for having the foresight to put the personal details of your and Mom's life out there for us to learn from. May God bless you both.

  76. Hi Molly & Joey,
    I came across your videos , I can thank you enough, and they sure have helped me to understand this terrible disease a bit better.
    You are a very loving son, god bless you and your family for your patience and understanding with your Mom. I know it is not an easy road to travel. Like you said we all have to keep moving forward.
    I love yours mom smile and her laughter, I can tell that she still love you every much she may not be able to say it but deep down you are still in her heart. I think she was so full of life and a real joy to be around. I love the way she is with Braden nice they can still have their boxing.
    My heart goes out to you all, thank you Joey and Molly. God Bless and stay strong.

  77. My mom is 94 and has had dementia for several years now. I know how lucky I am to have had her around for so many years. She has no idea who I am, on the surface, but we still can sit and just hold hands and be comfortable with one another. I think deep down those with dementia know we are someone very special to them but just can't pull that memory to the surface. Every once in a while I see a flicker in her eyes as I hope you do with your mom. What you are doing is out of pure love and, in the end, that is all a parent can hope for from a child. I'm glad you are so close to her as I am 800 miles away from my mom, so just keep loving her and remembering everything that has made her your mom–good and bad. Find peace and comfort in the fact that she would be so proud of you and that you are a wonderful son and human being.

  78. Thank you so much for making these episodes available.

    I'm wondering if that sad day could be delayed a bit if a daughter or son would frequently sprinkle "Mom" or "Dad" in conversations.

  79. Thank you for this. I lost one grandmother with dementia, and now have another grandmother who is suffering with it. Seeing my parents have to handle that struggle is heartbreaking for me. I thank you for taking the time in your busy life to pull together resources and a community for those of us touched by the disease. And for being transparent with your videos to shine a light on the truth of the rollercoaster that is living with this disease. God bless you & your family.

  80. My father died of LBD in 2015 at age 92 (he was in a nursing home for 2 1/2 yrs before he died). He had the hallucinations, but they disappeared when they took him off coumadin and put him on Eliquis. Fortunately, he knew my Mother (they were married for 70 years) until the day he died, but I think the rest of his family was harder for him to remember.

  81. My heart goes out to you, your mother, and your family. I can't explain in mere words what it is like to watch a family member fall slowly into this memory loss abyss. My mom started the symptoms in 1982 when she was 62 and I was 28. For the next 21 years she left us… slowly and so painfully. I was primary caregiver for many of those years. When I had no choice left but to place her in a nursing home, it was overwhelmingly devastating. I look back and don't know how I lived through it. Her death left my brother and I as the only members of our immediate family. We just had each other. I did fulfill a dream of pursuing a Master's degree in Special Education. I graduated in 2012 at age age 58. I was blessed to be hired to teach amazing students, at one of the most caring and supportive high schools. I love my job. However, the silver lining ended much too quickly. My brother, at age 62, began exhibiting the same exact symptoms as our mother. I saw it, I recognized it. I immediately went into total denial. How could this be happening again… But it IS happening. I'm now completing arrangements for him to be moved into an assisted living facility. I have no idea how long he will be able to remain there, but the facility is beautiful, and I want him to have this time for as long as possible. The thing is… I don't know how to handle this journey again. I know what's to come. I know the pain and sadness – and the sense of total helplessness. I couldn't "fix" Mom. I won't be able to "fix" my brother. And I'm not sure if I even want to try to fix me.
    I'm heartsick and feel so, so alone.
    God bless you.

    • You are loved, Jane! I am starting this journey with my own Mom. Please know that no matter what, you are not alone. My heart goes out to you. All we can do is love them and do our best. The rest is in God's hands.

    • Jane, I cannot imagine your difficult journey. Having watched my Mom die from Alzheimer's, I feel your pain. To have to watch a sibling as well, must be equally difficult. I hope you can find the strength to reach out to the Alzheimer's Association for support. I volunteer for the organization, and I know they can assist you so you don't feel so alone. Try to take time for you. God Bless you!

  82. God bless you. You are a good son. I feel helpless to help my mother and because she was so mean and negative to me in my life. I decided to stay away from her. I wish she was loving to me so that I could love her more but she has never asked to be forgiven or even apologized for the way she treated me. But I love her from afar. God Bless you Joey and Molly.

    • I can relate to that Toni. When I watch Joey's video with his mother I get emotional because I never had that connection with my mother that I so desperately wanted. She never made the effort to make that bond or connection with me, never said she loved me and never hugged me, I'm 63 years old, she is now 88. She has recently been diagnosed with dementia and now my two siblings and I are on the outs because I do not participate with her care. When I do make the effort I am accused of having an agenda so its a no win situation for me. Joey had an exceptional mother who loved him and showed her love in so many ways that there is no question that he would go to the ends of the earth for her. He is so blessed but its also very hard to see his struggle. My heart goes out to him and his family and that God will see him through this storm.

  83. Joey, I've been following you for some months now and I want you to know what an awesome son you are. I myself have 2 sons; 1 recently deceased. I know that they would support me the way you support your mom. 2 of my sisters in law suffer from dementia. It's heart wrenching. May God bless you in your endeavors. Keep up the good work. Thanks isn't enough for what you are doing.

  84. how can we follow your journey on facebook? is there a group that we can join?

  85. Wow! This just puts life in a new prescptive. I dealt with my grandmother and this is my fathers biggest fear. He turns 87 this year and he swore 3 years ago he would not make it another year. I thank god every day that so far I have been blessed. Keep doing what your doing.. your a great son and theirs not too many like you.. your mom was blessed but I'm going to assume you are as great as you are because of your mom!

  86. I’m sending a hug to you. My mom had vascular dementia. I’m also a Nurse so I face this daily. Take one moment at a time. You touched my heart with your love your Mom. All you can do is protect and love her. It’s a hard journey.

  87. You’re a wonderful loving son, and I know your mom loves you. I’ve lived this and I’m also a Nurse. Take one moment at a time. This is a hard journey and you’re doing everything you can. Love and protect.

  88. Joey, My mom was diagnosed 10 years ago at the age of 75. I kept her home for the first two years and then for the next seven she was in an assisted living facility. Last year I we moved her to a nursing home as she can no longer assist with transfers. My mom stopped speaking about 5 years ago as well as walking. I know how hard this is for you, you have to appreciate the small things like that she still has the ability to talk to you, even though what she is saying is breaking your heart. My mother was an old country woman and could not differentiate her vocabulary with what was politically correct or otherwise. I miss the days of her telling me the same stories over and over again and her yelling out my name when she called. Cherish every moment, even the bad ones!!! You are loved!!!

  89. I am living this nightmare myself. I am a single mother of 4, I still have 3 children at home, i work full-time and trying to take care of my mother’s needs as well. I placed her in assisted living Nov 2016. She is still able to recognize me but gets very confused. She misplaced things & calls me to come find them. She has given most of her clothes away and then blames someone for stealing them. I feel like crying from being overwhelmed and feeling like I am inadequate because I cannot be everywhere I need to be. I sobbed during your video because I know how truly difficult this is. I also worry I will also be stricken with this as my grandmother had it as well. God bless you and your family. Life is unfair!

  90. "Make me a promise Karan," my mother said. "Promise me you won't put me in a home or make me live with one of your sisters". It was a joke at the time when my mom was just starting to forget things. Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. Watching my mom talk to herself, packing her things 2-3 times a day, saying she has to go home. It was the heartbreaking. I broke down and cried with her a few times and then I realized how hard it must be on my dad too. He can't leave the house, he has to convince her that she lives in their house. I have come to the decision to quit my job. My dad needs help. I live 7 hours away but instead of visiting my parents, I'll be visiting my husband. My mom has always been there for me and been my best friend so I want to be there for her. I keep telling myself that I can snap her out of it. I know I can't but I can tell myself that.

  91. I'd like to say a few things about Alzheimer's from personal experience with my father. Keep things simple for them, simple, simple, simple. When this disease progressed to the point of having to place my father in a nursing care facility, I noticed quite fequently that his visitors would ask the question, 'Do you remember me?' I had to bite my tongue many times to not shout out, HE HAS ALZHEIMER'S!! We would all like to be remembered but not really a good question to ask a person with Alzheimer's. People with Alzheimer's do better with short visits, simple conversations with little to no questions. Don't change anything in their room like pictures or furniture, it confuses them. Keep things routine. Music can be soothing and calming, preferably with no lyrics. I do believe, in some way, they know who we are and recognize our voices even in their later stages of this disease. I say this because one day when I made a visit to my father, he was not in a very good mood and didn't want to make eye contact or speak. I attempted a few more times to get his attention but it just wasn't going to happen that day. As usual, when I left, I would kiss his bald head, tell him that I loved him and would always give him a wave goodbye from the elevator door as his room was across from the elevator. When I turned around in the elevator to wave I was surprised that he had wheeled himself to his doorway, he looked directly at me, made eye contact with me and with his right hand in a fist he gently tapped his chest three times as if to say, I love you too. I can't tell you the joy that filled my heart at that very moment. I gave him the biggest hug ever, cried my eyes out there and all the way home. This gesture of his was so unexpected, I felt for that one little moment in time he connected with me and expressed something I never thought he would be capable of. That very night he slipped into a coma and died three days later. I held that moment with me for almost two years before I said anything to anyone about it. I wanted it to be mine and mine alone. Since then, I realized that it needed to be shared to give others hope that it is possible, in some weird way, they are in there somewhere. I would have to say to those who don't think they are getting through to their loved ones with Alzheimer's, to never stop talking to them or feel its not worth the effort because it seem so futile. I believe they hear us and somewhere in that jumbled up brain, know us, even if it apprears they don't. Don't ever give up on them because you think its to hard or its a wasted effort, it's not. God's blessings to those who are afflicted with this disease and to the families who love and care about them and for them.

  92. I just watched the video and my heart is breaking for you Joey. You have to know that she loves you an cares about you. When she rubbed your arm and told you that she loved you was so sweet. My mom is suffering from dementia as well and it very difficult seeing you mom slowly going away. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. Thank you for sharing your difficult journey.

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